I really wonder why life must be so difficult at times. Why do some go through life so carelessly while others are gave burdens too big to handle. While I may never know the answer I will always wonder why..

25 years old is what most people consider the time to start settling down, looking for your own home, and starting a family. For me life has never been about what most people do. Even now that I am on my own and can make my own decision’s; I wouldn’t consider my choices to be what most people do. That is okay with me too. I can be alone and feel content. Most of the time it takes being alone to figure out who you really are anyways. Once you have had alone time you can start picturing your life with other people, and including others into your future plans.

At 25 I have seen things and accomplished things that others would have believed to be unfathomable considering the circumstances I grew up with.

At 25 I have learned to love and lose people.

At 25 I have been taught what unconditional love means, and its one of the most treasured things I have gained. Love everyone for who they are. They may not always have the right intentions, but it’s who they are deep down that you love.

At 25 I lost my grandmother that raised me my whole life. That was a pretty big gash in my heart, but I know she would want the life she lived to be celebrated.

At 25 I lost my biological mother recently from a horrid drug addiction. If anything I wish I would have talked to her more about her life; and why she chose to do drugs and drink her life away. I want to know what made her the way she was. I want to know why she chose to run and not overcome the weakness, but theoretically I never had the chance to do so; and I can’t dwell on that very much if at all.

At 25 how do you tell your siblings that the woman who gave birth to you died from heroin and crack? I thought about it, and there is no good way to tell someone that anyone has passed away. I told my 11-year-old brother that it was her heart. Technically if you want to debate it, it was her heart.

At 25 my eleven year old brother lost his guardian when my grandma passed away. I want him out of poverty and all the things he has had to see at such a young age. I want him to be a child and have fun. I want him to learn how to ride a bike. I want him to be able to go on family vacations. I want him to graduate high school and get a college degree. I want him to have the best life possible, and not have to need for anything. I want him to become something great. All the things that I want for him are only possible if he gets it from the appropriate people.

At 25 I will fight for him to have the best life possible, and if that means I am looked down upon then so be it. At least I can say I stood up for what is right. At least I can say I put up a fight, and didn’t sit back and say “Oh well he will make it through.” I know that more than likely he wouldn’t make it through without a positive influence in his life.

At 25 I will be that positive influence and take the back lash from those who cannot see that he deserves so much more than what he has had.

At 25 I am trying to get back on my own two feet. It’s been a big transition moving back to a small town compared to living in Korea. I got to be selfish in Korea and learn how to care about myself. I like the freedom and the fact that your only obligated to yourself. Sooner or later I will have to settled down somewhere, but for now I want to travel, meet new people, and do new things.

I’ve been blamed for running away from my family, but honestly can you blame me? Why wouldn’t I want to leave and do my own thing? Why wouldn’t I want to do all the opportunities  I never had? I am still living the life I never had the chance to live, and as long as I am happy doing that, that’s all that matters. I can accept where I can from, I can face the problems that arise, but in no way does that mean that I have to stay around. I want more than that, and I will do anything it takes to get it.

At 25  I am an educated, strong-willed individual that won’t settle for good when I can have great.

At 25 I wonder what 26 and all the other years have in store for me.

At 25 all I can do is hope that things will get easier.

At 25 I have learned to stand for what is right even if I am standing alone.

At 25 I feel like a huge ball of emotions not sure what direction to go.

At 25 I really want to know why life has to be such an obstacle.

At 25 life has its way of knocking a person down, but all that matters is that you get back up.

At 25 I see so many people take their parents for granted, and I want to tell them how grateful they should be.

At 25 I look at this world and try to understand why people do some of the things they do, but I will never know and I can’t try to solve all of the worlds problems.

At 25 I am still wanting things I never had.

At 25 life is confusing, but I know I am not the first person to go through anything that I have been through; and these experiences are going to make me a stronger person.

At 25 my family has been split to form “sides”. It’s not about whose side you are on. It’s about doing the right thing. I wonder what it will take to get everyone on the same page, but then again I don’t think that is possible. No one thinks the same way, and I refuse to argue until I am blue in the face to try to prove my point. There is a human beings life on the line that needs all the support he can get; and I will not sit by and just see him stuck because he isn’t old enough to get out on his own.

At 25 I hope the system doesn’t fail another child.

At 25 you realize that a small circle of people is way better than a million people around you.

At 25 I am in this situation wishing I can just disappear for a little while until things get better.

At 25 I have to stay strong for others around me.

At 25 I want to scream my head off in frustration.

At 25 everyone is entitled to their own opinion, but that doesn’t mean you have to agree.

At 25 there is no choice but to take things a day at a time.

At 25 I have hope that things will get better.

At 25 …..I sit here…. and I wonder…