Category Archives: Life Lessons

Seasons

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I cannot figure out what is wrong but I’m missing something that belongs. They say people come and people go, but some relationships are bestowed.

For what do I owe to get those back as I’m always looking for the facts. You tell people how you think and some are gone within a blink. I guess some are fake and some are foes, but sometimes you never know. Why shall people come and go just like seasons I’ll never know. I have a problem with accepting loss although I know these needs sometimes seem cross. What do I need to do to stop the feelings of blue?

Like the seasons come and go some run like they never showed. How can these feelings of abandonment take over like a rip current out of nowhere. Feelings thrashing out of the blue over little reasons of missing you.

Like the seasons are ever changing so are my thoughts and I’m constantly dazing. Wondering how some let go so easily, like we’ve skipped fall and the leaves are oh so free. It’s so easy to put up a wall because you’re always afraid to fall. Crashing down so fast and free I miss the old carefree me.

Floaters

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I was recently introduced to the term floaters… and I don’t mean in terms of turds floating in the toilet..

In between leaving Korea the first time and coming back the second time a lot has changed. In change I mean with people. It’s not really even Korea itself…well besides a couple of coffee shops, hotels, and restaurants.

I think I have grown a lot since the first time I was here. I look at things a little more logically. I don’t mind not staying out all night, and I cherish getting enough sleep haha… well saying that it seems like I am a granny…

So I am back now and teaching P.E. this time. The school provided me with a  very nice apartment. I have upgraded since the last apartment.

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I’ll have to work on making that more homey…but for now this is my “home”

Back to the floaters…

float·er
ˈflōtər/Submit
noun
plural noun: floaters
1.
a person or thing that floats, in particular.

This was new terminology to my ears.. these are people who just skip from group to group..I also heard they are called chameleons because they transform into whatever group they hang with.

I don’t think I noticed people doing this as much when I was here before, because I came here knowing no one and then I made all kinds of new friends. I can relate to this term the most when I went home after being away for a long time.Now that I am back in Korea again it’s like hindsight is 20/20 ….just like in all situations you go through.

Anyways I think the point of this is that people are just weird.. and I am not sure if I should care of just keep going on with my life.

I hate the way that life goes on no matter what happens. No one stops for you. You don’t stop for anyone. Life goes on. It’s sad. I like checking on people. That’s became a rarity anymore though. Not for me, but just in general… our society and it makes me sad.

Then again I can’t expect others to be like me.

But these floaters …they just come in your life and then stay for a while and maybe they will leave after a while…and then after time goes by its like you never knew those people before.. hell for all I know people could see me this way.. I hope not but you never know.

I try to stay in touch with people, but sometimes it just gets draining. These days I don’t mind my quiet time and reading a book. I love pen pals and snail mail. So I have found a different way to keep in touch with people.

But the floaters like I said sometimes they stay sometimes they go … So do I make an effort to keep them around or do I just say fuck it? I hate to think that people aren’t worth my time, but then again if it’s going be that mentally draining then maybe it’s not worth it. I JUST DON’T KNOW. It messes with my head just thinking about it honestly… then again maybe I am just over thinking like I do a lot of time.

Has this ever happened to you ? If so how does one take on this situation.

 

 

Shame

Life Lessons

It’s often the moments of shame that make us who we are, but yet it’s those parts that we tend keep bottled up inside.

We don’t share because we are mortified  of doing the walk of shame,                 ( physically and mentally)  we are embarrassed of the outcome whether its sleeping with a one nighter,tripping and falling on our face in plain day, or getting drunk and making an ass of yourself.

Yeah it’s those times we look around and hope no one is watching. But it’s “those times” that give us the most character. You can pretend it didn’t happen as much as you want; but you know there’s always a little reminder in the back of your head saying “I know what you did” ….”Last summer” … haha okay maybe not that far but regardless it’s there somewhere in the back of your mind.

One stands out in particular to me. I arrived in Thailand and everyone was going out for the meet and greet. We finally made it there and had a few drinks, ate some food, and started to make our separate ways.

One group proposed that we go to a “ping pong show” I listened while everyone debated on what they were doing. I had heard about these type of shows before from my fellow travel buddies, but never thought I would be in the predicament to make a choice of going to one. I debated on it and while some of the people chose not to, the naive me chose to go….to get the experience….you know how that goes…

So we walked in and they tell us it’s 175 baht per person, and that came with one beer. 175 baht is equivalent to about 7 U.S. dollars. So we walk in and they line us all up in the seats right next to the stage. We sit down and the girls come out with nothing but a thong and heels on…right in front of our  face. I felt really uncomfortable so I chose to move the farthest back that I could get …. and the show hadn’t even started at that point! I suppose I should have left then.

The ladies walk off stage  and another set walks on..they have on hula lays around their waste, head, and ankles. They start to play this 90’s music and dance like stiff dolls. I thought the dancing was going to be different, but it didn’t get much different. I could see the look on their face and it wasn’t one of amusement. It looked more like day dreaming. Then all of a sudden they put their leg up on the pole and start pulling these lay flowers out of their Vagina.. a million thoughts began to run through my head as my mouth was gaped open and my eyes were 2x bigger than what they already are! I seriously was thinking “How is that even possible?” “Who put it up there?” “When are they going to run out of flowers?” … it ended and I was sitting there really confused.

oh shit

 

The next group of girls came out and they threw balloons all over the stage  I sat wondering “What could they possibly be doing now… Then they started dancing like stiff dolls again.. before you knew it their legs went up   again and they started pulling needles on a string out of their vagina this time!  Then they let the men around the bar pull them out and pop the balloons. The looks on the girls faces was painful.. I can’t ever imagine what that would feel like ..nor do I want to..As if I wasn’t flabbergasted already ….

confused

I sat there bewildered wondering what could possibly happen next… They come out with buckets of soap and started doing their weird stiff swaying back and forth again. The lights went dim ..they started to lay down to put the soap on themselves and each other. Then they proceeded to grind on each other.

miley

^^ —see patrick …that was me…

The next set of girls come out and they are just naked without any props.  They start dancing and the song I want to stand with you on the mountain comes on….They slowly make their way to the floor and begin to lick each other out and look miserable…

mout

At this point I couldn’t help but to feel bad for the girls. We paid 7 dollars to get into this place for “the experience” and it’s a choice that I can say I feel ashamed of. Not only did the girls look like they were in pain, sad , and numb the whole time. I observed them take shot after shot. I watched men buy them drinks and grope them. I watched them leave the stage and not come back out. Where they went is a mystery to me, but that was beyond the point of what was happening.

mean girls

This was my first experience with any thing like this. I did it “because everyone else was doing it and I wanted to see what all the hype was all about.” I heard my grandmas voice in the back of my head “oh now if they jumped off a bridge would you do it too?” Should have listened … should have listened…

I guess hindsight is always 20/20 isn’t it? Lessons like these you unfortunately have to learn the hard way sometimes, but I feel that these lessons of shame should be shared more often.  They are the lessons that shape and mold us to be better individuals and make better choices in our future. Not only did I learn from a choice I made; but I hope that my lesson or regret reaches someone else to help make the right choice at the right time.

I haven’t been able to get the thoughts out of my head. I can’t help to think about how sad they look, how young they looked, and how they even got into that kind of business.

So I wrote a poem to try and describe it.

Dead Souls, Dead Flowers

Dance, dance until your lost

Blocking out all the sound

Trying not to let my head fall to the ground

Trying to impress by showing my breast

Letting everything show to strangers I do not know

hoping for a good night and not to get in a fight

Men paying me to sit by them

While they touch me and try not to offend

I come on stage and dance around

Counting the hours down

Take a  shot to feel at home

When really I want to groan

The pain is real it’s what I feel

I’m put on stage to impress

But really it’s a lot of stress

Feeling elude and not in  the mood

I try to stay calm and not be rude

Feeling dead inside my head

I stand in these heels day dreaming of better days

My soul is dazed

 I feel like a dead flower in the haze.  

Dead Souls, Dead Flowers 

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I read a book called The Defining Decade – Why your twenties matter and how to make the most of them now by MEG JAY I would highly suggest this book to those in their twenties and thirties! Here is a quote from the book.

“Everyone learns things the hard way at some point or another , and our brains take pictures so the learning stays with us. This is the basis for the saying ” That’s a lesson you will never forget.” It is jarring-but efficient and often necessary-way to go.”

Thank You for reading and sharing my blog. I hope my lessons help along the way.

People, Please!

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You walk into a restaurant and the hostess seats you at a table. It’s a typical busy Saturday night and you have to wait a few  minutes to get your drinks. The server brings back your drinks and takes your order. Time begins to pass and before you know it your food has come out before your salad or your soup. So you scream at the server who brings out your food. “We haven’t got our soup! We haven’t got our salad! And we are leaving!” You storm out of the restaurant without talking to the manager, or even giving the server time to explain anything or give you  different options. The server takes your food back to the kitchen and tells the manager you left, because service wasn’t fast enough.

waiting tables 2

People, Please!

I recently came back home from Korea and I have been working two jobs. I am a substitute teacher during the day, and I wait tables at night. The story I told above happened to me my first night working alone. The sad part is I wasn’t even their server. That incident all happened so fast that I didn’t even have time to process what to say. They marched out before the manager even had time to come out and reconcile things.

People, Please!

If I would have had time to respond in an appropriate manner I would have said this. ” Sir, I am not your server, but I can get the manager to try to resolve this problem. I really don’t appreciate the way you just spoke to me, and I’m pretty sure if I were your daughter you wouldn’t want someone speaking  to her that way either.”

gif 2 waiting tables

1.) When you go out to eat you have to be patient, especially if it’s on a Friday or Saturday night.

2.) Stop being selfish, and think about everyone else and what they may have going on in their lives as well.

3.) Don’t take it out on your server if your food is prepared the wrong way. The servers aren’t the ones who cook the food. And cooks are bound to make mistakes. No one is perfect.

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4.) Stop acting as if your better than everyone. You put your pants on the same way as I do everyday.

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5.) Tip! Servers make 2.35 an hour plus whatever tips they make. Imagine if you have worked 3:30 to 10:30 and went home with 40.00. I don’t think you would be very happy. that is 40.00 for 7 hours of work at 2.35 an hour. I have heard people talking on numerous occasions about tipping. The older generation tend to leave the minimum amount. Some people aren’t aware what servers make, and others just see it as I get your drinks and bring out your plate. I do get your drinks and bring out your plate of food. I also check on you numerous times to make sure you are alright, get your drink refills, greet you when you come, and when you go, and do all the prep and clean up before you come and after you leave.

waiting tables 1

6.) Get off your phone! There’s nothing like going to a table and asking if you can get them anything; to be completely ignored. Come on people! You go out to eat to enjoy each other or the experience. Put your phone away for an hour.

People, Please!

I see when you’re looking around impatiently. I see when you’re tapping your foot or your fork on your plate. I can tell that you are getting irritated when your food doesn’t come out fast enough. I see the death glares because you are “hangry.”

hangry

I can tell that you are higher class and what things the way you want them. I am an educated individual, and I don’t like being treated like a servant. I am there to make your experience a good one. I am there to get you what you need. Don’t take it for granted by running me to death.

I notice when I am introducing myself, and asking for your drink order that you snap back and say “We are ready to order!” Well how about taking the time to ask me how I am doing? How about saying “Okay, thanks Lillian.” Servers are people too. Remember that.

I work in the mornings  from 7:00 a.m. to 3:06 p.m. substitute teaching  at different schools around the county. After that I get in my car and drive to my second job waiting tables. I change in my car since I don’t have much time. The last thing I want to deal with are a bunch of demanding people who are impossible to please. I have already had a long day before I came to the table to greet you.

scream

I am dealing with my own battles, and the last thing I need is for someone to scream in my face, because their food took too long. Please ask to speak to management if there’s a problem. More than likely you will get a big discount or get your meal paid for. There are always resolutions.

customer

I have waited tables ever since I was in college and no matter where I go it’s always the same reactions, rude people, people in a rush, higher class so they expected special treatment, and the list goes on. Don’t get me wrong there are good experiences and good people; but you never forget the bad ones you go through.

People, Please!

Lets reverse the roles and see how you would handle waiting on 5 tables with approximately 10 -4 people at each table. All with separate orders, needs, and wants. I don’t think you would want to be treated in that manner.

So the next time you decide to go out and splurge. Try to ask you server how they are doing. Be patient on your food. Enjoy the time for yourselves, and please ask if you have a problem. Everyone has their own story and problems to deal with each day. You never know the battle they may be facing. BE NICE.

mean gif

At 25

Life Lessons, ,

lead

I really wonder why life must be so difficult at times. Why do some go through life so carelessly while others are gave burdens too big to handle. While I may never know the answer I will always wonder why..

25 years old is what most people consider the time to start settling down, looking for your own home, and starting a family. For me life has never been about what most people do. Even now that I am on my own and can make my own decision’s; I wouldn’t consider my choices to be what most people do. That is okay with me too. I can be alone and feel content. Most of the time it takes being alone to figure out who you really are anyways. Once you have had alone time you can start picturing your life with other people, and including others into your future plans.

At 25 I have seen things and accomplished things that others would have believed to be unfathomable considering the circumstances I grew up with.

At 25 I have learned to love and lose people.

At 25 I have been taught what unconditional love means, and its one of the most treasured things I have gained. Love everyone for who they are. They may not always have the right intentions, but it’s who they are deep down that you love.

At 25 I lost my grandmother that raised me my whole life. That was a pretty big gash in my heart, but I know she would want the life she lived to be celebrated.

At 25 I lost my biological mother recently from a horrid drug addiction. If anything I wish I would have talked to her more about her life; and why she chose to do drugs and drink her life away. I want to know what made her the way she was. I want to know why she chose to run and not overcome the weakness, but theoretically I never had the chance to do so; and I can’t dwell on that very much if at all.

At 25 how do you tell your siblings that the woman who gave birth to you died from heroin and crack? I thought about it, and there is no good way to tell someone that anyone has passed away. I told my 11-year-old brother that it was her heart. Technically if you want to debate it, it was her heart.

At 25 my eleven year old brother lost his guardian when my grandma passed away. I want him out of poverty and all the things he has had to see at such a young age. I want him to be a child and have fun. I want him to learn how to ride a bike. I want him to be able to go on family vacations. I want him to graduate high school and get a college degree. I want him to have the best life possible, and not have to need for anything. I want him to become something great. All the things that I want for him are only possible if he gets it from the appropriate people.

At 25 I will fight for him to have the best life possible, and if that means I am looked down upon then so be it. At least I can say I stood up for what is right. At least I can say I put up a fight, and didn’t sit back and say “Oh well he will make it through.” I know that more than likely he wouldn’t make it through without a positive influence in his life.

At 25 I will be that positive influence and take the back lash from those who cannot see that he deserves so much more than what he has had.

At 25 I am trying to get back on my own two feet. It’s been a big transition moving back to a small town compared to living in Korea. I got to be selfish in Korea and learn how to care about myself. I like the freedom and the fact that your only obligated to yourself. Sooner or later I will have to settled down somewhere, but for now I want to travel, meet new people, and do new things.

I’ve been blamed for running away from my family, but honestly can you blame me? Why wouldn’t I want to leave and do my own thing? Why wouldn’t I want to do all the opportunities  I never had? I am still living the life I never had the chance to live, and as long as I am happy doing that, that’s all that matters. I can accept where I can from, I can face the problems that arise, but in no way does that mean that I have to stay around. I want more than that, and I will do anything it takes to get it.

At 25  I am an educated, strong-willed individual that won’t settle for good when I can have great.

At 25 I wonder what 26 and all the other years have in store for me.

At 25 all I can do is hope that things will get easier.

At 25 I have learned to stand for what is right even if I am standing alone.

At 25 I feel like a huge ball of emotions not sure what direction to go.

At 25 I really want to know why life has to be such an obstacle.

At 25 life has its way of knocking a person down, but all that matters is that you get back up.

At 25 I see so many people take their parents for granted, and I want to tell them how grateful they should be.

At 25 I look at this world and try to understand why people do some of the things they do, but I will never know and I can’t try to solve all of the worlds problems.

At 25 I am still wanting things I never had.

At 25 life is confusing, but I know I am not the first person to go through anything that I have been through; and these experiences are going to make me a stronger person.

At 25 my family has been split to form “sides”. It’s not about whose side you are on. It’s about doing the right thing. I wonder what it will take to get everyone on the same page, but then again I don’t think that is possible. No one thinks the same way, and I refuse to argue until I am blue in the face to try to prove my point. There is a human beings life on the line that needs all the support he can get; and I will not sit by and just see him stuck because he isn’t old enough to get out on his own.

At 25 I hope the system doesn’t fail another child.

At 25 you realize that a small circle of people is way better than a million people around you.

At 25 I am in this situation wishing I can just disappear for a little while until things get better.

At 25 I have to stay strong for others around me.

At 25 I want to scream my head off in frustration.

At 25 everyone is entitled to their own opinion, but that doesn’t mean you have to agree.

At 25 there is no choice but to take things a day at a time.

At 25 I have hope that things will get better.

At 25 …..I sit here…. and I wonder…

Mother’s

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I Wonder

Sometimes I think about you Wonder if you’re out there somewhere thinking bout me And would you even recognize The woman that your little girl has grown up to be

because I look in the mirror and all I see Are your brown eyes looking back at me They’re the only thing you ever gave to me at all

I think about how it ain’t fair That you weren’t there to braid my hair Like mothers do You weren’t around to cheer me on help me dress for my high school prom like mothers do

Did you think I didn’t need you here to hold my hand to dry my tears Did you even miss me through the years at all

Forgiveness is such a simple word But it’s so hard to do when you’ve been hurt

These Lyrics are lyrics from Kelly Picklers song I Wonder.

I heard this song a long time ago and it has always reminded me of my biological mom. She has always been in and out of my life but words can’t describe how much stronger it has made me as a person. Yeah, when I was younger I couldn’t understand how someone could just leave their children; and show up when everything felt convenient.

This was one of the first lesson’s I would learn in life. What is was like to feel loss.

Here recently I lost my grandmother Lillian. The feeling of loss never changes. It’s like this dark pit in your heart that may never find its way to be filled. You just have to cherish the memories and look at the good times you had together.

People come in and out of your life all the time. It’s the one’s who make impressions on your heart that last forever.

Mom and ME Me and my grandma

photo 2-3 me as a baby

I think of my grandma ( Mom)  Lillian and I picture a strong selfless woman who gave  her all to make anyone happy. She chose to give up so much of her own life to raise all seven of her grandchildren. But if you were to ask her she would say she didn’t give up anything. She would have said she gave everything. She gave her whole heart to raise us the best she could. While growing up she never tried to change any of our personalities, but rather let us form into who we wanted to be. She was never the kind to yell very often and always had such a tender touch. She didn’t cherish name brand things or anything materialistic. Her most valued possessions were pictures that were hand drawn and collages that were made to hang on the wall. She made me value staying true to yourself,  being stubborn to get what you want, and to appreciate the little things in life. She had so much love to give and always welcomed anyone.

photo 2-4 Brother Lawrence and Quinn

1469753_722544511153332_6133356015569806056_n Brother Nando and Logan

28162_10151844507923084_1375105081_n Brother Ramon

Strength 

My family struggled for money and still do, but she always did her best to get us what we needed. As a child you don’t realize all the struggles your parents go through to provide what you need. For the longest time I can say that I didn’t know we struggled. You’re so naive as a child. I knew myself as a helper.a friend, and an open ear whenever my mom wanted to talk. I can remember her getting breast cancer. She was so weak. This was the first time any of us saw her sick, but she stayed strong through it all. The hardest part was losing her hair, and even with that happening she was sad, but took it as it came.  I helped her, fed her, slept by her. She fought and she over came cancer. This was the first time of many test of strength that I would see her face over the years.

Rich In Ways I Didn’t Realize

As I stated before I didn’t realize we struggled for the longest time. My grandma didn’t work and we got a monthly check. It was never looked down upon like it is in most cases if anything she did the best she could with what she had. A lot of the times she would refer to the saying “I’m robbing Peter to pay Paul.” Anyone who has ever been in that situation knows it’s not a good feeling, but she somehow made everything seem okay even if it wasn’t. She was a woman of strength and when asked how she was doing she would say “I’m good” even if she wasn’t.  I remember one day I was hungry for something we didn’t have and I said “Man I wish we weren’t poor.” Her only reply was “Oh Lillian  you don’t know what poor is.” You have food just not what you want, clothes, and a roof over your head.” “That’s not what you call poor.” As time went on I would learn that she was right. I don’t know what poor is like and life could have been way worse than what it was. I was richer in more ways than I realized. I think of all the things that we have been through, but I wouldn’t ever put my grandma down on anything she did. Times were hard, but because I learned the way I did I have gained so much respect for my grandma and enough resilience to last a life time.

While I was in Korea the last letter I got from my grandma was a letter saying she was so proud of me , but she was sorry she couldn’t give me a better life. I never doubted the amount of effort she put into raising me. She had nothing to be sorry for.

I have experienced more at 25 years old than most people have their whole life. If there is one thing I would say it would be that I am grateful. I am grateful for the start I had, because without my grandma raising me it’s hard telling what would or could have happened. She tried with all her heart to steer me away from the wrong things in life. She did just that by sacrificing all that she had to give it to us. Without going through hell and experiencing loss I wouldn’t know what joy felt like.

JOY So define joy. Joy to me is having someone in my life to look after and protect me. Joy is being able to appreciate all the little things, because after all we never had the big things. To me that’s more than words could ever describe. Joy is sharing your hardships and success with others in hopes to make a positive impact on their lives. Joy is not being selfish and sharing your heart. Joy is what my mom was full of raising us with.

photo 1  nephew Logan

photo 1-2 niece Quinn

MEMORIES 

I’m going to miss being able to call her up at any point because she was a night owl after all. Even after all of the kids were in bed she didn’t rest. She would clean, sweep, watch some t.v., drink a cup of tea with milk and sugar and sit up late. She would share stories and ask me about my future . At one point I told her I wanted to be an artist, because I loved to paint and draw. Her reply was honest as always. ” You don’t want to be an artist they don’t make money until they are dead.” I laughed and said “Yeah. maybe not I’ll just draw pictures for you then. I was already a star in her eyes.

Unconditional Love

If anything she showed me what unconditional love meant. Her love was never-ending no matter what you did. Her heart was huge and even when she was disappointed she never let anyone know it. She fought hard to keep our family together and even if we weren’t all together physically we always were in her heart.

As most of you know I lost my mom recently. So if you have made it this far in reading this all of this you are reading what I read at her funeral. The exact words. My grandma may not have been my biological mother but it doesn’t matter. She was the only mother I have ever known. So like I said before. regardless of who takes care of you or helps you if they made a lasting impression on your heart that is all that matters.

photo 3 Me and Mom

PROUD

I have never been prouder to say I’ve had such a great influence in my life. As this time is difficult right now and I feel like my heart is in a million different pieces . I know she is in a better place and no longer in pain. She raised me to have a heart of a lion , and I will continue to use it to make a positive impact on people’s lives. She was so proud of everything we did. I will work hard to carry on with life. She has shaped me in to a strong, independent, resilient woman who refuses to settle for less than great. I don’t think I could have asked for more.

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While talking to her she refused to hang up the phone because she didn’t want to hang up on me first, and I refused to hang up on her. It’s like we were always a distance away from each other, but didn’t want time to end. So she came up with this idea to always count to three together before hanging up the phone.You see time never ended because she will always be in my heart .  We lost a mom, grandmother, great-grandmother and best friend.Now that is the woman who made me who I am today and I am proud to call her my MOM. 123.

photo 2 Mom and Felix

photo 3-2 me , my sister Yvette, and cousin Tiffany photo 4 Mom, Quinn, and I

photo 4-2 Mom, Quinn, and I / Mikki and I

ADVICE So if you are reading this my advice to you would be cherish your loved ones. Be grateful you have parents who love you. Teat them with respect as well as anyone else, and always let others have the chance to affect you in all the right ways. Much Love. Lilly

Masturbation

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My friend Steffi met a friend in Korea who is a photographer. He did a photo shoot and named it masturbation recently, because when you masturbate you do it to please yourself.Well sometimes for others, but there’s no need to get into all of that. I’ll leave that up to your imagination! Anyways, I got thinking recently and the thought of life and masturbation went together quite well. You should live you life to please yourself. Some may think this topic is uneasy to talk about; but life is uneasy. You can’t control what may happen. You just have to take it as it comes.

There has been so many times that I have looked back on, and realized I was living my life to make others happy. I would think about what others would think of my choices before I made them. There are times that I now see I could have made the choice for myself, and left the thought of others completely out of it. I say that I have grown so much by coming to Korea all the time, but it’s the honest truth. The change of perspective that traveling can do for a person is unbelievable. You meet new people on a regular basis. These people help you see the world as something other than just a place to live. You see opportunity, courage, faith, and hardships that others have overcome. It makes you want to be a better person in all aspects. Well that’s how I feel about it I would hope that others would too.

Life doesn’t have to be made up of the choices that others help you make. Make the choices for yourself and let those choices impact your life for the better. The choices that you make help create and define who you are. Look at yourself and ask “Is this who I intended on becoming?” “Is this the best that I can be?” “Am I making the choices for myself or for the sake of others?” There are already enough pressures in society to be someone else. You should want to be your own person and make the best of everything.

So yeah back to masturbation. You do it for YOURSELF. To pleasure yourself whenever you want. Yes you may do it for others sometimes. The key word in that sentence is SOMETIMES. Sometimes is okay, but just know when enough is enough. Pleasure yourself in everything that you do. Some may say this sounds selfish, but to me it’s how you get the most out of life. Stop worrying about what others may think because more than likely their thoughts won’t matter anyways.

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Put some serious thought into what you want out of life. Make the effort to change things if you don’t like them. Don’t settle for good when you can have great! Masturbate for life to pleasure yourself. Don’t worry about what may happen, what could happen, or what should have happened. There’s nothing you can do about it now. Let things be for what they are, and if anything learn from it for the sake of yourself.

thank-you-dance