While scrolling through Pinterest, I randomly came across this quote. Honestly I couldn’t agree more with it. Being the first to graduate high school in my family, the first to go to college, the first to travel abroad. It’s not only education that makes an impact on your life. In fact it’s everything around it as well. The little things that people don’t think about. For instance driving, getting a car, and going out to eat. When I first started going out to eat the only thing I could order were chicken tenders. As much as I love chicken tenders this order was out of fear. Fear of not knowing if I’d like something else(food envy is real). Fear of ordering something and regretting it. It was fear of pricing, and just not knowing any different. Overall the inability to order in general.
Since traveling my taste buds have expanded tremendously. I also love to cook different foods( I usually photograph these in my food porn section.)

This quote resonates with me for more reasons than one. The access to transportation is a huge one. I can remember my grandma paying people to take her places. When our vehicles were broke down it was a never ending cycle of trying to get someone to take us to the grocery store, or to the doctors. When I finally got a vehicle in college I drained my savings account (all 1,500) to buy a Dodge Ram 1500 I found in the newspaper. Until I found a vehicle I paid my  college roommate gas money to take me to the orthodontist, to go to the store, and to drop me off where her mother worked to carpool to get a ride back home. Are these things a freshman in college should have to worry about? No, but I did. Generational curses  are real, and generational poverty is one of them. My family had endured it for decades. While I worked multiple jobs my whole life to try and keep my head above water(until now). I do feel like I myself have broke one chain of the generational curses, but the endured trauma will probably always be with me. Do you ever wonder why you do the things you do or why you act the way you act? I do. The more I’ve read into articles on trauma, and the brain the more I realize many of the things I do have resulted directly from some form of trauma. Granted I have had a lot of counseling! The best thing a counselor has ever said to be is “Do you not think you’re worthy? Worthy of someone helping you? Worthy of someone loving you? Worthy of allowing someone else in? From that moment on something clicked differently. I told myself I would let people help me, I would say yes instead of no. I would handle things differently. I would let the word love be welcomed freely. Even though some of my family have told me directly “you think you’re better than us.” Or “You think your way is always right.” Maybe I am? Not so much in the sense of worth, but in the mindset. The mindset of not letting anything hold me back, for wanting more than I’ve ever had for myself , and my siblings. I am better for making myself better. I’m better for taking opportunities for multiple jobs. I’m better for working till 1 am and getting up for class at 7 am. I’m better for sacrificing the average college experience to earn money to be able to get further in life. I missed out on all the spring breaks, and short holidays. It’s okay though, because I’ve came out better. Better for myself and others. Who cares if people talk shit. Let them. YOU ARE DOING GREAT THINGS. YOU ARE A BETTER PERSON THAN YOU WERE. AFTER ALL A LOT OF PEOPLE ARE JUST TALK.

Thanks for coming by to read my blog! Keep doing great things ! -Lilly