Tag Archives: Beautiful

Mother’s Day

My Crazy Life, , , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,

Each year Mother’s Day comes and goes and I always seem to go through all the phases of grieving all over again. If you don’t know, my mom ( grandma that raised me and my biological mom ) passed away when I was 26 years old.

It’s almost like going through all the stages of grief all over again. Denial, anger, bargaining, depression, and finally acceptance.

Sometimes I feel like I never had time to grieve if that makes any sense. So much went on in such little time I just had to push through, be strong for everyone else, and get on with working 3 jobs to save money to get back on track.

Then I get angry, because I know people who have moms and treat them like crap.

I’m angry that I don’t have my mom here to call on rides home from work, to tell Happy Mother’s Day to, to eat her chocolate covered strawberries my Aunt would send her, or give her flowers, or take her out to eat to somewhere she’s never been. You know spoil her like she deserves.

Then I think to myself well maybe if life would have been different she would still be alive and I begin to bargain with myself . Although no matter how many times I think things through it wouldn’t change the way things were.

There’s a small piece of the day I feel really down and depressed, but I know deep down there’s nothing that can change what’s happened.

Then I realize that I have people. I have Susan that adopted me as an adult, I have my foster parents , I have my mother in law, I have my friends mom’s that look after me and treat me like their own. So when the day is over I’ve finally hit acceptance. It sucks that it takes going through all those emotions to kind of slap me in the face and say wake up woman! You HAVE MOMS! That’s something not many people can say. I did get ahead of the game and send out cards on time this year so that’s a plus.

It’s a weird way to feel and to process all those different feelings in that order. I try to block it and ignore the day all together sometimes. Some years hit me different and some are more difficult than others.

It’s very heavy on my heart so it helps to write these things out even if it’s a day late.

What is you’re way of coping with holidays after losing someone? Does anyone else feel this way?

Thank you for taking the time to read my blog. I hope you enjoyed your Mother’s Day with your mother or motherly figures! Treat them good they won’t be around forever.

I was going through pictures and found this one of my Grandma holding me as a baby. She always looked this happy holding a baby. I swear she was a baby whisperer. She raised myself and 6 other siblings. I miss her so much it hurts so badly at times.

I love this quote. I describes how I feel on so many occasions.

Thank you again for reading. I hope it helped if you have a heavy heart as well. ~Lilly

Proud to be from West Virginia!

My Crazy Life, Uncategorized, , , , , ,

So if you haven’t been made aware of it yet . The whole state of West Virginia has been on strike for 8 days this Monday . This strike has made history due to the fact that all 55 counties in the state have stuck together and closed every school. This strike is not only about teachers, but public employees also. That includes cooks, bus drivers , aides, and service personnel. It’s takes a lot of people to make a school run well and without one part it’s not possible to have it fully functioning.

I’ve been doing a lot of thinking while not getting called to sub here recently. Thoughts just run like a wild fire through my head at times. While teaching abroad I met a ton of different people. I’m still friends with some and others were just acquaintances.

There was this girl I introduced myself to and told her I’m from West Virginia . When you tell people your from West Virginia you usually get one of three responses.

1.) Where is that?!

2. Oh yeah, Virginia! I know where that is! 🙄

3. Oh yeah, *insert singing here* Country Roads Take Me Home!

She responded with “When I think of West Virginia I think poor and uneducated.”

I was dumbfounded by her response to say the least and highly offended! I was so shocked by what she said I couldn’t find the right words to respond.

Instead I asked her where she was from and she said Kansas. And went of to tell me she was voted most likely to not leave her bubble in high school and so on. While I seemed to tune the rest out I couldn’t stop thinking about what she had said to me.

I grew up in a low income family, but it seems I never really noticed that I didn’t have much until I got older . But for that to be someones first impression of my State was unbelievable.

If you know me and know me well you know that I would give you the shirt off my back if you liked it. I’d go out of the way to try to help you. I’d offer you anything from my house just as if it were your own. I’ll give you my honest opinion and be a listening ear when you need one.

The thing is I’m not the only person that has these characteristics. If you ever come to West Virginia you will quickly see that anyone would go out of their way to help you if needed . People come together in times of need, and people work hard … Really hard to make a living.

I was offended when I heard her thoughts on West Virginia , but it made me realize how proud I am of the people in my State, and how hard people work to get what they want. I won’t lie her comment did make me really sad at first. I’d go out with friends and we would be drinking. Out of the blue her words would come back to me and make me really upset because regardless of where people are from no one wants to hear that.

I moved to West Virginia when I was 5 years old. As I got older I like many others wondered why we moved to West Virginia in the first place . My grandpa always told me it was a safe place and the people were some of the nicest you’d ever come by. It’s sad to say I had to leave before I realized that this was true.

I was so naive when I left West Virginia . I’d wave, smile, and say hello to people just passing by and they would look at me like I was a total weirdo . People I walked with would ask me if I knew that person I was saying hello to. Apparently that’s not really a thing in other places .

So back to this strike . I’m so proud of the teachers in West Virginia . Not only for standing up for what they want but doing it with class. We have not had school in 8 days . During the state wide work stoppage these last 8 days there hasn’t been any injuries. There are no threats being made . People in the community, Churches, and Teachers themselves have came together to still be able to feed students breakfast and lunch. The Churches have volunteered to watch students who’s parents still have to work or so parents can picket. Some students if not most of the Teachers kids have been on the picket line as well.

Some people will argue that the days are being wasted by not having school. I will beg to differ. A day is not wasted as long as you don’t make it that way. Go to the library, read a book, go to the park, work on some math, go on a trip. A child can learn from anything you do . You may surprised what you may learn in this free time as well. If you haven’t heard about the strike please check out the following links below.

https://t.co/GwZ8Sobt5e

https://t.co/nS8vCT8rQg

https://t.co/qGAwmUaYkf?ssr=true

The state wide work stoppage has gained a tremendous amount of attention from the media and public so far . Our Governor Jim Justice proposed a 1% for the next five years raise when teachers brought this up to begin with . That paltry amount won’t even be noticed on a pay check ! That jumped to 2% when teachers disagreed . Then he wanted to give teachers a 5% raise and service personnel 3% . Then this statement was issued from WVEA . Saying that the 5% should be for both teachers and service personnel and it’s not right to take from one to give to the other. It’s sad that we do have to fight against this .

Like I said before and I’ll say it again . I am so proud of the teachers for standing up for what they believe in. I am proud of the parents and service personnel. I’m proud of the support. I hope that we are able to see some change in the coming days. I know the teachers are willing to fight for it.

I know that I wouldn’t be where I am today if it hadn’t been for teachers along the way. Think about it you are in school for most of your life in school. At least 17 years if you go on to get a Bachelors degree. You spend 8 hours a day in school with your teachers up until 12th grade. How can you say that they have no impact on your life ? Teachers are the ones who help mold you into productive human beings. They help you find yourself . They are more than teachers in so many ways. I’m so thankful I had someone stand up and guide me along the way.

Even though our state may have some of the lowest incomes . I’m proud to be from such a place. A place that cares for their own people when the going gets tough. A place that comes together in unity when trying to improves their lives and the lives of others. A place that welcomes others. A place that has made history for such beautiful scenery. A place where people want better for themselves and will work hard to get that. I’m so proud to be a Mountaineer! I’m proud to be from West Virginia no matter what other people say!

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