Tag Archives: Friends

Damaged Hearts

The heart is amazing wouldn’t you know.

For the scars over the years are never to show.

You can go on living your life and move on from fear

but the words that scarred will always be near.

We live in a society that always moves on.

People doubt what makes us tick

but little do they know the heart is drowning by a flick, flick, flick.

Damaged hearts will always be worn, some may even be scorn.

Some may say the damage makes you stronger

but what would they know, because the heart will always ponder.

Ponder the things that it’s faced,  because they are things that are untraced.

You may be thinking this is all very somber.

Yes that is true, but does it not make you wonder?

Wonder how people carry  burdens so freely?

How do they determine how life will be;

once they are free and no longer drowning in the sea?

Why do we pass each other so carelessly?

Maybe it’s because of uncertainty.

Regardless of how your heart may be

everyone hopes for sort of normality.

Actually there are a ton of people who are abnormal

some just try to act formal.

Internally it’s all a different game. Some may feel shame.

Some may look for others to blame.

The heart is simply amazing.

 

Like a rapid forest fire spreading

you run and you run to get away.

Some parts turn grey while other parts fray.

But no matter where you go those wounds will always stay.

Wounds heal and usually leave a scar.

The scar makes a story that can be shared with those who look from a-far.

Your story can make a difference and make others perspectives a little more a-jar.

The heart is truly amazing.

There is still a fire that’s blazing.

Blazing and burning for something more.

 

Keep your head held high, and ignore the carnivores that try to eat you alive.

The harsh words and actions that may come out;

are often a defense mechanism to survive.

These repressed feelings are something you can’t ignore.

Go on now, the crowd is screaming encore.

Below are some photos that make my heart beat a little more.

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My friend Lyndel is a part of a Non Profit Organization called Football For The World Foundation. They hold camps all over the world to To improve the quality of life of children through the game of football.  Football For The World Page

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Lyndel was able to get over 40 pairs of football boots,jerseys, balls, and vest donated and sent to Korea so she could hold a camp. I was fortunate enough to be able to help with the camp this time.

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During the camp we did drills and games with the students. dsc_0703

They had a great time and at the end all the supplies that were donated to use for the camp were gave to the students to keep. It was a great day. dsc_0764

This was a stand when we arrived in the Philippines. This lady makes skewers of chicken and pork to sell for less than a dollar. She was so kind and welcoming. dsc_0781

This was the view from our hostel. I was amazed that we were so close to the beach. It was beautiful. dsc_0789

These were some scallops we ordered. I had tried scallops before and never liked them that much. I’m proud  I gave them another chance, because they were absolutely delicious. dsc_0793

This was right before the sun came up. There has been a storm the night before but I liked the shadow effect it left. dsc_0823

The day cleared up and we did an island tour. It was breathtaking. dsc_0884

My travel buddy Alana! Grateful we could share this experience together. dsc_0923

This fella gave both of us a ride with our bags.. I would imagine we weren’t the lightest of the bunch. He did this each day for his wages. It made me appreciate him even more.

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This was a flower outside of a resort we went to visit. Just up the road was the gate to the exit and outside that exit was a lot of poverty. I would like to think that those who face such extreme conditions can still find beauty in the little things.

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This is my little sister Mikki. She went fishing and sent me this picture of her first fish. It made my heart smile.

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My heart beats with scars on it, but thankfully I can still see the beauty in all the madness.

Your heart beats the same as mine. Give someone a little bit of your time.

 

 

 

 

 

Floaters

I was recently introduced to the term floaters… and I don’t mean in terms of turds floating in the toilet..

In between leaving Korea the first time and coming back the second time a lot has changed. In change I mean with people. It’s not really even Korea itself…well besides a couple of coffee shops, hotels, and restaurants.

I think I have grown a lot since the first time I was here. I look at things a little more logically. I don’t mind not staying out all night, and I cherish getting enough sleep haha… well saying that it seems like I am a granny…

So I am back now and teaching P.E. this time. The school provided me with a  very nice apartment. I have upgraded since the last apartment.

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I’ll have to work on making that more homey…but for now this is my “home”

Back to the floaters…

float·er
ˈflōtər/Submit
noun
plural noun: floaters
1.
a person or thing that floats, in particular.

This was new terminology to my ears.. these are people who just skip from group to group..I also heard they are called chameleons because they transform into whatever group they hang with.

I don’t think I noticed people doing this as much when I was here before, because I came here knowing no one and then I made all kinds of new friends. I can relate to this term the most when I went home after being away for a long time.Now that I am back in Korea again it’s like hindsight is 20/20 ….just like in all situations you go through.

Anyways I think the point of this is that people are just weird.. and I am not sure if I should care of just keep going on with my life.

I hate the way that life goes on no matter what happens. No one stops for you. You don’t stop for anyone. Life goes on. It’s sad. I like checking on people. That’s became a rarity anymore though. Not for me, but just in general… our society and it makes me sad.

Then again I can’t expect others to be like me.

But these floaters …they just come in your life and then stay for a while and maybe they will leave after a while…and then after time goes by its like you never knew those people before.. hell for all I know people could see me this way.. I hope not but you never know.

I try to stay in touch with people, but sometimes it just gets draining. These days I don’t mind my quiet time and reading a book. I love pen pals and snail mail. So I have found a different way to keep in touch with people.

But the floaters like I said sometimes they stay sometimes they go … So do I make an effort to keep them around or do I just say fuck it? I hate to think that people aren’t worth my time, but then again if it’s going be that mentally draining then maybe it’s not worth it. I JUST DON’T KNOW. It messes with my head just thinking about it honestly… then again maybe I am just over thinking like I do a lot of time.

Has this ever happened to you ? If so how does one take on this situation.

 

 

SON

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Son asking if we are ready to move on..

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These young boys were sitting along the road with three bottles of eels that they had caught.

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While in Vietnam I planned a trip to go trekking in Sapa. I had been hiking before, but this was like no other experience I have ever had in my life. It was simply breath-taking. My tour guide was Son. She was a small but cheerful woman filled with all kinds of knowledge. I was lucky to have her as my guide. While hiking, trekking up hillsides, and tip toeing through rice terraces we had a lot of meaningful conversations.

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Son has a family with five children and husband. Her kids attend school and her husband goes to the hospital twice a week for his kidneys. She has been doing these hiking tours for the last five years. While doing these tours her wages have changed since she started but not by much. Son gets paid 7 dollars per trekking tour. These tours can rage from a day to 3 days, and I’m sure longer if planned ahead.  When Son first started doing tours she didn’t get paid and she couldn’t speak any English. She learned to speak English from all the people she has met by doing the tours and practicing conversation. She still can not read or write.

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Haha.. Can we make it across??

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Why yes we can!

Son has never left Sapa. She has lived and stayed there her whole life.  Can you imagine never leaving your home town?  She said she loves her job no matter how much she gets paid. Each person that did this tour paid through a hotel or agency. The cost was anywhere between 50-75 per person. Son gets $7.00 per tour she does no matter what the group size is. These tours aren’t exactly what I would call a walk in the park. I am young and able to do this and it was difficult for me. We trekked 26 kilo or 16 miles in the matter of 2 days. Most of the time Son was way ahead of us and hopping and skipping over the hillsides. She was such a strong woman physically and mentally.

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Son took good care of everyone in her group with an honest heart. She had no secret intentions to get us to buy things. She warned us not to buy things from the kids selling bags and bracelets along the way because they weren’t in school, and they should be. Instead they were out trying to make money for their family off of all the tourist that were passing through the mountains.

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We stayed overnight at a homestay that consisted of a family style dinner with rice wine…a little too much. I really think the group I was with was something special. I have been traveling and working abroad since last September and I have never felt so accepted and welcomed by such a variety of people in my journey alone. Being the only American with a mild twang … well you know how that goes .. haha. We had people from Israel, Australia, Germany, Mexico, Norway, Belgium and France. Everyone was so open and we shared a lot of stories  along with personal experiences. So thanks to everyone who made me feel so welcome and happy. Our homestay was cozy and we each had our own mattress on the floor.

Son bought us ice cream once we were close to our homestay. We were grateful.

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Over lunch the next day a couple of boys asked me if I was staying longer and I said no I had to be back for my flight. Son quickly spoke up and said “If she was staying I would invite her to stay with me.!” She then proceeded to tell me that if I did a “real” local homestay things would be different. We wouldn’t have wi-fi. I would sleep downstairs and the family would sleep upstairs. Theres a bathroom and shower but they both were outside of the house. If you want warm water you must heat it over the open fire. If I ever go back to Sapa or if you ever to Sapa. I would recommend just getting the over night bus or train and then planning a local stay once you get there. The money will go directly to them and it will be a great experience with the locals. Her name is Sung Sapa on Facebook or get ahold of me and I can get in contact with her.  I couldn’t recommend the trip any more. It was my favorite thing that I have done during my travels and I wish I could have stayed longer.

It was clear that Son has overcome a lot. I’m sure that there is more to her story that I haven’t heard. Regardless she  has left a huge impact on me already.

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