Tag Archives: happy

Sully’s Birthday

My Babies, Uncategorized, , , , , , , , , ,

I just look at sweet Sully and my heart burst with love no matter what mood I’m in. I’m so thankful to have him. Sully turned the big One June 23rd and he has taken off with his walking skills!

Sully first birthday
Sully’s 2nd birthday

Hard to believe we just celebrated Sully’s 2nd birthday. I found this post in my drafts and just started reflecting on the past couple years.

Sully had a great day celebrating with Bluey!

Sully loves anything outdoors, riding the buggy, mower, golf, baseball, cooking, Bluey, and his dog Steele which happens to be a Blue Heeler haha . He is all or nothing and so bright and helpful. I love him with all my heart.

Sully is 3!

He loves all things construction themed. This year he had his party at the gym and it was construction themed. It was a last minute decision to hold it in the gym due to the rain, but it all worked out great! Sully’s vocab is really blossoming and I really enjoy talking with him.

Sully very excited to open his new backhoe!
Steele happy in the background
This year he asked for a corn pit ! Sully loves to help his dad feed the deer and play in corn!

Corn pits have become more popular in the last couple years at fall festivals.

Snow Days

My Crazy Life, , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,

Snow days hit different when you become a teacher. They really hit different when you have children and you’re a teacher…

We’ve had our first snow days this past week and I have to admit this had been good for my soul. I felt free when playing outside with my children. I actually enjoy sledding as an adult, but to see the look on my child’s face in the snow for the first time is something I never want to forget. Sully (18months) was able to play in it and Niko was bundled up but took it all in. He looked so angelic looking up at the sky with the snow falling around him.

Sully and Niko -18 months and 4 months.

This was their first view of the snow.

I love doing first experiences with my children, and look forward to more in the future!

Sully rode around with his tongue out the whole time!

They are starting to look more and more alike!

We are going to need a bigger buggy !
Of course we had to let Steele ride with us. He is now 7!

The day was very relaxing and much needed!

Later on I introduced Sully to play dough and tried to do an activity with it. He ate it and wanted it rolled in balls to try and bounce instead lol.

This fine motor activity is what we were aiming to complete.
Taste testing …
Not a fan !
We ended the night with some popcorn! Sully wanted it all to himself 😂
Then he Stuck his foot in it!

This is the life we live. I’m so thankful for these little boys.

Niko loved his first snow day!

I get so sad when I drop them off in the mornings before work . I’m not sure if that will ever end. I was able to be off work for three months with both of them when Niko was born Aug 30th.

Going back to work has been more challenging for me this time around. I feel like I’m being pulled in so many directions and not able to focus on the main task at hand. When this happens I get really bad chest pain from anxiety and have to remember to breathe. It’s not that I don’t want to work, because I do and it gives me a sense of balance. It would be nice to find something to be able to work from home or part time for a bit until the kids started school.

In my mind I want to do things with them, expose them to things, make sensory bins, take them on walks, help them navigate the world. I realize I can’t do it all though. 😞

Thankfully my in laws have been the primary care takers for the boys when we are working. If they aren’t watching them we drive about an hour in the day to take them and go get them from the sitter. She is amazing and I know she takes great care of the boys. We have had problems finding childcare since moving so that’s been another battle on my mind as my in laws are in their late 60s and two under 2 is exhausting for me let alone 67 year olds .

So these snow days were not only a break from work but a sense of relief for me to breathe and spend time with my family.

Thank you for reading about my life, I hope you’ve enjoyed the snow as much as we have.

Mother’s Day

My Crazy Life, , , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,

Each year Mother’s Day comes and goes and I always seem to go through all the phases of grieving all over again. If you don’t know, my mom ( grandma that raised me and my biological mom ) passed away when I was 26 years old.

It’s almost like going through all the stages of grief all over again. Denial, anger, bargaining, depression, and finally acceptance.

Sometimes I feel like I never had time to grieve if that makes any sense. So much went on in such little time I just had to push through, be strong for everyone else, and get on with working 3 jobs to save money to get back on track.

Then I get angry, because I know people who have moms and treat them like crap.

I’m angry that I don’t have my mom here to call on rides home from work, to tell Happy Mother’s Day to, to eat her chocolate covered strawberries my Aunt would send her, or give her flowers, or take her out to eat to somewhere she’s never been. You know spoil her like she deserves.

Then I think to myself well maybe if life would have been different she would still be alive and I begin to bargain with myself . Although no matter how many times I think things through it wouldn’t change the way things were.

There’s a small piece of the day I feel really down and depressed, but I know deep down there’s nothing that can change what’s happened.

Then I realize that I have people. I have Susan that adopted me as an adult, I have my foster parents , I have my mother in law, I have my friends mom’s that look after me and treat me like their own. So when the day is over I’ve finally hit acceptance. It sucks that it takes going through all those emotions to kind of slap me in the face and say wake up woman! You HAVE MOMS! That’s something not many people can say. I did get ahead of the game and send out cards on time this year so that’s a plus.

It’s a weird way to feel and to process all those different feelings in that order. I try to block it and ignore the day all together sometimes. Some years hit me different and some are more difficult than others.

It’s very heavy on my heart so it helps to write these things out even if it’s a day late.

What is you’re way of coping with holidays after losing someone? Does anyone else feel this way?

Thank you for taking the time to read my blog. I hope you enjoyed your Mother’s Day with your mother or motherly figures! Treat them good they won’t be around forever.

I was going through pictures and found this one of my Grandma holding me as a baby. She always looked this happy holding a baby. I swear she was a baby whisperer. She raised myself and 6 other siblings. I miss her so much it hurts so badly at times.

I love this quote. I describes how I feel on so many occasions.

Thank you again for reading. I hope it helped if you have a heavy heart as well. ~Lilly

Quarantine Deck

My Crazy Life, , , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,

My husband has proved himself to be a pretty good carpenter after all. During this quarantine we have had the time to do a couple home improvement projects. The deck is a very nice addition to the back of our house. It will be great to cook out and enjoy the views of the river this summer.

Thanks for stopping by to check out my blog ! Check out the other tabs if you have time .

Cheers ! ~Lilly

Flying High

My Crazy Life, , , , , , , , , , , , , ,

Hello World,

It’s been a while since I’ve blogged. This past year and a half has been a very busy time in my life. I went to training to become a flight attendant on September 11, 2017. I had came home from traveling and really missed traveling, but I didn’t want to be so far away from home for years at a time. I had missed out on weddings, babies, birthdays, and anything in between. So I thought what can I do where I can still travel, make money, and be home. That’s when being a flight attendant popped in my head.

Do you ever fantasize about jobs and you think it will be your dream job then you get into it and you think ” Shit …. this isn’t what I signed up for.” I had thought that many times when I went to training to be a flight attendant. It was very hard and stressful. The challenges were demanding and it broke me several times. You had to score 90% or higher on every exam and you only get two retakes… I failed test 1 and test 4 …. this is when my first breakdown happened. You never know how bad you want something until you have to fight for it. Well this fight was one I wasn’t going to let beat me. We had emergency drills, test, quizzes, 14 hour days where we didn’t finish till midnight and had to be up early the next day. If you fell asleep in class you were kicked out. This was to get you used to those long days in the future I suppose. My class started with 60 some people and we graduated with 32. The struggle was REAL!! We had made it…. I really don’t think I would have made it without my friends and my roommate !

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Then reality sets in and your like damn no one told me this or that.. how do I bid to make my schedule? I have to go sit “Hot” at the airport for 8-10 hours and only be paid half of the time.. I may get called out and I may not…Your shifts can range from 3 am to 3 pm , 7 am to 7 pm , or 10 am to 10 pm. I have the mentality of getting started early and get done early so I always chose to have the 3-3 shift. So that means when they call me at 3 I have 2 hours to be at the airport. I live an hour and a half away from the airport so I had 10-15 minutes to get up and get ready and out the door to make it there on time. Did I look glamorous? Probably not… was I on time ? You bet your ass I was. I have never been one for being late to work or being absent. One of my previous bosses told me being late is never attractive to an employer.  Being on time is late, late is late, early is on time.

Social Life

It took me 9 months before I ever worked with the same person again. The social aspects for this job are hard because you work with different people all the time. Some of them have been with the company for 20 years while others are brand new. I found that the people who have been with the company for a long time will just go to their hotel rooms and shut the door.   “I’ve seen it all before” ** insert my eyes rolling ** and the new people will want to go out and explore wherever you may be staying overnight. Fortunately I have been to a few long overnights and was able to get out and explore whether it be on my own or with someone new. Why wouldn’t you? One of my favorites was in New Orleans. Shoutout to Stephanie for wanting to go explore with me ! I was also able to swing by and check out Stephen Kings house in Bangor, Maine.

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Obsessed with the sky

I have found that I am that person on the plane that wants to sit next to the window on most flights. Especially when there is a good sunrise or sunset. If you say “They are all the same.” Shame on you! They are not and I have the proof!! It’s seriously become my favorite things on flights! I have way more pictures of the sky but I don’t want it to look like I’m not working hahahhaha!

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The Pay 

I work for a regional airline so the pay starts at $17.49 and you work your way up but it takes 15 years to get to $35.00 an hour and that’s what some main line workers start at! So I went part time so I could pick up substitute teaching jobs, I work at a country club serving in the evenings, and I help this local company can hot pepper mustard and other canned goods.  I did my taxes and to my disappointment I only made 23,800 for the whole year ! WORKING 4 JOBS!! No one should have to work 4 jobs to make that little of money. So I have recently made the choice to quit flying and start subbing more often. I feel very sad because it is a job that I really do enjoy. The wages just aren’t merely enough to survive. I not only want to survive I want to thrive in my job. I want to feel like I am working toward a better future. I want to have a better quality of life and on those wages I just can’t do that. I mean who doesn’t want to grow into something better ? If you say you don’t then you should probably dig a little deeper to find out why not.

Benefits

Don’t get me wrong the benefits are great IF YOU HAVE THE MONEY AND TIME TO USE THEM.  You fly for free and by free I mean standby. Standby isn’t a bad thing if you aren’t trying to commute for work, you travel in the down season, and you have flexibility in your schedule. Otherwise you should just purchase a ticket… I was lucky enough to be able to use my benefits a few times to help me out over the last year or so. I went to Disney … well attempted 2 times and got stuck two times with no open seats …we ended up renting a car and driving to Orlando because I didn’t have much time off of work. Ryan and I were able to get first class going to Punta Cana. Susan and I went to Portugal recently and we scored first class on Delta One. Let me tell you if you haven’t flown first class on Delta one it’s unreal. The seats lay into a bed, you get a Tumi cosmetic bag with goodies in it. They serve So.Much.Food. I swear I didn’t eat until lunch time the next day! Unreal experience. Here are a few pictures from my trips.

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So as I sit here feeling sad for not being able to fly anymore I feel so blessed at the same time to have been able to go the places I have. Meet the people I have met and gone through the experiences I have gone through. It probably wouldn’t have happened without the benefits of being a flight attendant. I am grateful for the opportunity and I am so glad I made the choice to go to that training ! If nothing else it made me realize that I am capable of anything I put my mind to. It made me realize that I am worth more for what I put in. It made me focus on wanting a better quality of life.

You may be looking at these pictures thinking ” It looks like a great quality of life.” Well until you sit countless hours in the airport, get your flights diverted, have passengers mad at you for things out of your control, get up at 2 am and get home at 4am, deal with working first class which is like people working the stock market. There is so much going on at once. You have people boarding, someone wants you to throw away their trash, someone needs to use the bathroom, people need a drink to take a pill, people are arguing over overhead bin space… and the list goes on.  Just let me tell you that bin space is Not assigned to your seat space! Please throw away your trash before you get on the plane Especially if it’s an awkward shaped pizza box! We don’t have that much room for pizza boxes in the trash bin. Buy a drink in the airport or carry an empty water bottle through security then fill it. Please give us your trash 1 of the 20 times we walk through the aisle. We are the ones that have to pick up your things you leave behind! The next time you fly please be considerate to your flight attendants. Some of them haven’t been home in days. They may not have had time to get off the place to get something to eat throughout the day. More than likely they are probably tired!

So as of now I am putting away my wings. Maybe I’ll pick them back up in the future. We shall see. Now I am just tired physically and mentally and still trying to figure out what I want to be when I grow up.

It’s been a great ride.

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P’ Toy

People/Places/Visits, , , , , , , ,

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She walked up beside me while I was talking to a student and said “hello” I quickly replied “Hello, how are you?” Her response like so many other people when asked was “I’m fine, thank you and you?” I said I was doing well.

I finished my conversation with my student and went over and sat down beside her. I asked her if she spoke English and she said “Verrrrrry little bit!” We got to talking and she told me her  nick name was p Toy. I asked her if she had been to see the students art display she said “No I have to finish work.”

She does three different jobs at the school including washing the dishes after breakfast ,lunch, and dinner, cleaning the toilets, and working with the students to help them set up for different events.

She began to open up and thanked me for taking the time to talk with her. She always wanted to speak English, but was scared. It turns out she speaks pretty well and it was easy to understand!

P’Toy had previously been married and lived in Australia and her Ex husband treated her more like a maid than a wife constantly screaming to make him something to eat or demanding work to be done. She was criticized for not knowing much English, but who would want to learn it when your being screamed at all the time?

She divorced and moved back to Thailand. She started working two jobs for real estate and for a cleaning service in a hotel. The money was good, but she was working long hours and didn’t feel happy.

I asked her if she liked her job now and she said ” Yes, I get paid little now but my heart is happy.”

It was so nice to sit and talk as she washed dishes and I think she like it because it made the time go a little faster. When I left Thailand she gave me a scarf she had knitted and a hand made wristlet.

 

Simple Things

Photography, Uncategorized, , , , , , ,

I wish adults were as easy to satisfy as a child.

Why do we lose simple gratification the older we get?

I miss the days where a stick of 25 cent gum made my day.

Stickers meant you were the class star.

Pencils were a reward for being a good student.

And a tasty treat could turn a  frown upside down. =)

Those were the days….the days we all wish away too soon …..

 

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