Tag Archives: help

Floaters

Life Lessons, , , , , , , , , , , ,

I was recently introduced to the term floaters… and I don’t mean in terms of turds floating in the toilet..

In between leaving Korea the first time and coming back the second time a lot has changed. In change I mean with people. It’s not really even Korea itself…well besides a couple of coffee shops, hotels, and restaurants.

I think I have grown a lot since the first time I was here. I look at things a little more logically. I don’t mind not staying out all night, and I cherish getting enough sleep haha… well saying that it seems like I am a granny…

So I am back now and teaching P.E. this time. The school provided me with a  very nice apartment. I have upgraded since the last apartment.

DSC_0546DSC_0547

I’ll have to work on making that more homey…but for now this is my “home”

Back to the floaters…

float·er
ˈflōtər/Submit
noun
plural noun: floaters
1.
a person or thing that floats, in particular.

This was new terminology to my ears.. these are people who just skip from group to group..I also heard they are called chameleons because they transform into whatever group they hang with.

I don’t think I noticed people doing this as much when I was here before, because I came here knowing no one and then I made all kinds of new friends. I can relate to this term the most when I went home after being away for a long time.Now that I am back in Korea again it’s like hindsight is 20/20 ….just like in all situations you go through.

Anyways I think the point of this is that people are just weird.. and I am not sure if I should care of just keep going on with my life.

I hate the way that life goes on no matter what happens. No one stops for you. You don’t stop for anyone. Life goes on. It’s sad. I like checking on people. That’s became a rarity anymore though. Not for me, but just in general… our society and it makes me sad.

Then again I can’t expect others to be like me.

But these floaters …they just come in your life and then stay for a while and maybe they will leave after a while…and then after time goes by its like you never knew those people before.. hell for all I know people could see me this way.. I hope not but you never know.

I try to stay in touch with people, but sometimes it just gets draining. These days I don’t mind my quiet time and reading a book. I love pen pals and snail mail. So I have found a different way to keep in touch with people.

But the floaters like I said sometimes they stay sometimes they go … So do I make an effort to keep them around or do I just say fuck it? I hate to think that people aren’t worth my time, but then again if it’s going be that mentally draining then maybe it’s not worth it. I JUST DON’T KNOW. It messes with my head just thinking about it honestly… then again maybe I am just over thinking like I do a lot of time.

Has this ever happened to you ? If so how does one take on this situation.

 

 

Quarter Life Crisis

My Crazy Life, , ,

Quarter

UGGHHHHH AHHHHHHH DAMNNNNNNN…. I think it’s real….. A quarter life crisis. Surely I’m not the only one having these feelings at this stage in my life. I just turned 25 years old in March and I was doing fine. I had a decent paying job, living in Korea, having fun with friends, and then BAM… out of no where they cut my job over a month early and told me four days in advance that I would have to find a different job, another place to stay, and I would no longer be one of their employees after the long weekend. For me this was not only a shock, but a slap in the face. I had nearly finished my job contract for the year. I over came many obstacles. I did everything that they had asked me to do and that is the kind of warning they gave me. So I sub for a couple of weeks at two different schools to earn some extra money; then fly home due to the death of my mom. Back to good Ol’ America home of the free..

Only I don’t really feel free. Life has a different feeling once you come back from something you had enjoyed so much. I feel trapped in a sense. Trapped not knowing what I want to do, where I want to go, and what I want to make of my life. WHY WHY WHY… Seems like things fall into to perfect form for some people.

25 is such a weird age. There are all these preconceived ideas of what life is “supposed” to be like. You settle down, buy a house, have a kid or two, and so on. Not saying that there is anything wrong with that but why do things have to be played out like that?  You are so pressured by society to have a plan to settle down.For me that just isn’t practical right now.

So people have asked me why don’t you just get a teaching job in America then? The fact is this. MOST teachers started teaching where they want to plant roots and live for at least the next 5 years. Well I still have things I want to do, places I want to see, and I am not ready to plant my roots just yet. The fact that traveling gives you such a different perspective on life makes me want to do it so much more. If I can earn a living and travel while doing it then why the hell not? I have nothing holding me back.

Seems like all through out my 20’s I keep asking myself ” What am I going to do with my life?”

I have often heard of people going through a mid-life crisis, but that is usually in your 50-60’s. They buy a new car, or move down south, or do something completely out of the ordinary. I felt fine when I was working, but when I found out I had lost my job I hadn’t really had a plan of what I wanted to do after teaching in Korea or where I wanted to go. I knew I wanted to go somewhere else in the world, get my masters degree, and teach P.E. and Health.

Then I found out I was accepted to a  grad school in Germany so that was my plan. To come home work for 6 or 7 months and then head of to Germany….I thought getting accepted to grad school was going to be the hardest part. Little did I know it would become the easiest.. Turns out there is no tuition in Germany, but you do have to pay your cost of living. The estimated cost of living is 18,000 for two years. Now to get financial aid in America for your Masters degree can be difficult.

  • You no longer get the Pell grant because that is only for your undergrad.
  • Your school must accept financial aid ( Germany doesn’t since there is no tuition)
  • You can apply for a loan through the bank
  • You must spend the money in the country if you get another type of grant.

So after ruling out all of these options and talking to several friends about different options I had a life epiphany……It’s not feasible….and most would argue that there are cheaper ways of going about getting a masters, but to me if it’s a matter of 5-6 thousand dollars and I could go to another country to study for 2 years then why wouldn’t I just do that? Maybe my dreams are too big right now, or maybe I just have to find a different route on how to achieve them. It’s all in the way you look at things.

So like I said before I’m back to the “What am I going to do with my life?” Phase. I can’t wait to figure it out and actually enjoy what I do.

What about you? Do you think a Quarter Life Crisis is real??